one sees it as something scary, a huge mystery. another sees it as an opportunity, a slight of hope in this chaotic world. nobody knows what the future holds. it is God’s biggest secret, and the only thing that link us here to the future, is the time that we’re having now.

i feel like we’re trapped in the middle of uncertainties. every little thing that we did, every choices and decisions that we made, somehow shapes our future far ahead. just like a wall that could only stand still by putting bricks on top of each other, one by one. and as a human, we’ll never know the exact time we could finally see the finished wall, or even room—all we have are just lots of bricks, and the time in our hands.

those are the bricks that we have to mend on top of each other. imagine how a single different brick could change the entire composition of the wall... one brick leads to another, one decision leads to another.

its hard. but its a privilege.

one thing that we all should always remind ourself is that, no matter how random our bricks are, no matter how ugly our soon-to-be wall... not everyone has the chance to finish theirs. not everyone has enough time to see how beautiful their wall would look like. having time means having privilege. having chances to decide what to do with your wall, also means having privilege.

our wall, just like our future, needs enough time to grow. we’re just humans that once again, never know how much time that we have left. but being in a rush to build our very important wall, is not the best solution. im gonna quote what maudy ayunda once said in her book (haha), “like all things valuable, it needs building. and nurturing”. 

 

but,

((( these are my 2am thoughts wkwkkw )))

nedita, the ENFP, the master of ‘overthinking’