not everyone has to like you (or your thoughts).
Sunday, January 07, 2018
i've always heard people sayin those sentences years ago, and i realized that it was true. but as the time goes by, i should admit that it is quite hard to apply those thinking into our daily life especially if you're someone like me--a sanguine--where people's opinion would affect you no matter how hard you deny it. i am a quite bold person, but that doesn't mean that other's opinion wouldn't affect me (maybe it wouldn't directly affect my decision but at least it would obviously affect my feelings even if it's just a little). i might look like i didn't give a single fuck towards them but the words would kept ran through my brain automatically.
let me tell you this. i always surround myself with bunch of friends everywhere, and whenever i have something in mind i will immediately explain it to them and whether you realize it or not, it's not just me sharing my thoughts--but it's also me seeking for an approval.
and. that's. not. a. good. habit.
i mostly would hear what my friends had to say about my thoughts, just because i trusted them. but sometimes i just listen to them and i somehow letting my own original thoughts to set aside. and i keep repeating this to every single thoughts that i had. it's really not a problem when they're also agree to it. but when they dont, it made me thought like umm okay maybe they're right maybe it was stupid or what. and by agreeing to them doesn't mean that i completely agree--there's always a bit of me that still felt secretly disagree, and it made me feel bad about myself. i felt like just because they're my friends i should completely listen to what they said, and without their approval there is something in me that just doesn't feel right (like i'm afraid i has no one to back me up and if turns out im wrong people will like 'told you so' or something like that). and when i'm alone, i kept asking myself the same question: why can't i just stand up to my own thoughts even if everyone is disagree with it?
well actually i haven't had the right answer... but i think i'm just gonna arrange my thoughts towards it and how i've been dealing with it recently.
what i did first thing first is making sure that i'm myself shouldn't ever force a thought from my head to my friends (unless when it comes to helping people with suicidal i think it's better to force them from stop doing that wkwk). i should admit that i've been doing it SO MANY times and now i realize that it's not a good thing to do (sorry guys,). i mean if they asked me for my opinion i would gladly saying it out loud but i have to make sure to them that it's just what's in my head and it's not something you have to do if you don't feel like it. and you know, i just realized that our selection of words is also important... i'm still learning to be as polite as possible without diminishing the true meaning that i'm trying to deliver to my friends when it comes to my opinions and thoughts.
"one thing you should always remember is that you have no idea how big the effect of your words could affect someone else's life," (got this from the anti-bullying video i found on my LINE timeline).
one of my bestie once said a simple sentence that i would never forget, "lets just agree to disagree". she once said that when the girls debated each other's opinions. from there i learned that it's okay to stay where you are while the others don't. it's okay to have a different opinion even if they doubted you. it's okay to have a silly thoughts and not always being rational. and it's also okay for everyone to have an opposite thoughts from you--being agree to disagree is important. if you keep debating about who's right and who's wrong, you'll find no solution. well of course some people would prefer debating and find their way out to have their thoughts won the argument but you can start from no other than yourself. in order to find peace within yourself and the other human being, being agree to disagree in anything is somehow one of the best way to keep yourself out of conflicts.
because, just like what i wrote for this post's title, not everyone has to like you. you are under no obligation to please every single ass you're dealing with. if they're agree, that's a wonderful news. but if they don't, just try to hear their side of the argument and it maybe make yourself reconsider your thoughts, but it's all up to you to agree with it or not. just try to be as objective as possible. it might not be easy especially if you're always seeking for other people's approval (just like me) but atleast what i'm doing now is i'm trying. i'm trying to stop seeking for people's approval and trying to stand up for myself and my own thoughts. if it turns out that i'm wrong then it's okay, atleast i have a reasonable argument to stand up for on the first place.
it's 00.20 a.m. and i really want to finish this whole post. but i haven't found the exact right solution (and i'm super tired) so i think it's better to leave it this way. yes it's possible for me to rewrite or continue this in another following post when i'm ready for the answers. so that's it for now, and i hope this little thoughts arrangement of mine could help or inspire you if you're dealing with the same thing.
See you on the next post!!!
XOXO
N E D I T A
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