you'll never know, so do good and be good
Sunday, November 11, 2018
these past few months has been some kinda roller coaster. i had some kind of 'mindset revolution' (or whatever you name it) caused by several events that has happened lately. i think this is the stage where i really took my time to look back and see everything that i've done, reviewing almost all of my current mindsets and perspectives towards life, trying new life philosophies and choosing which one really works on me. and the most important, i started to realize that i had some toxidic habits too, that im still working on to cut them loose from my life. something like that.
i actually got a lot of new findings and good advices from some of my friends (who happens to feels the same way as i do and share some mutual perspectives) and i really wanna share them all, maybe in my future posts. but today im gonna talk about the importance of maintaining a good behavior daily that some of us might have dulled our sensitivity in this case.
last night i was having a phone call with one of my friend, and we happened to share the same perspective about this thing: always be kind and selfless because we never knew what could happen in the future. after that call, i came to a realization that some of us might get a misleading idea in defining the term 'be yourself' as 'be anything you wanna be without thinking about other people's feelings and its totally okay to have a lack of empathy as long as it makes you happy'.
i strongly, strongly disagree with that definition.
and i wont blame you if you agree with that, but you will always have the chance to rethink about it later, just keep reading till the end of this post.
well, i think its true that you can be anything you want if you put your mind to it. for me it means that you are enough, and you are capable to achieve anything, and you cant ever let other people let you down and told you that you're not good enough. this is some kind of self-reminder that could leads to a stronger shape of self confidence and it also some kind of self-conviction that could make us a better person and that we dont have to live in another people's expectation.
see? this is about ourselves. how we live as one being, and it has nothing to do with your attitude towards others. the 'be yourself' term only explains your 'internal' attitude—how you treat yourself, not other people.
the thing is, you can always be yourself and at the same time be kind to others.
sometimes we convict ourself that we can do anything as long as it makes us happy, including being selfish. okay at some point being selfish is kinda needed, but not all the time. sometimes we have this ugly traits inside us—selfishness, lack of anger management, rude-ness, etc—and we wont even try to fix that because we think those are a part of ourself and we need to 'be youself'. I MEAN its okay its totally up to you whether you wanna change that or not but you need to know that those traits, however, has the potential to hurt somebody else. and this is the part that i couldn't agree with.
unless hurting other people gives you pleasure or satisfication (which is weird but i dont care), you really need to maintain a good attitude towards others, no matter how ugly your personality is. you'll never know what could happen if you keep being rude or selfish to other people, notably your loved ones. you'll never know that even the people that you've hurted kept silence, it might kills them inside or left wounds in their heart. and when they finally can't take it anymore, you'll never know what could happen to you. you'll never know if some times later in the future you need help from these people that you've hurted. this is why it is really important to do good and be good, regardless how you really are in person.
"you are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel".
be yourself, they said. be mentally strong and healthy, and have confidence. not be anything you want and set aside other people's feeling because they wont cost you anything. you might not believe in this but i believe in karma, so never-ever take other people for granted.
and remember, it's never too late to apologize, it's never too late to say i'm sorry. do whatever it takes to make things right as long as you still have time in your hand.
and for you who've experience any hurtful moments caused by anyone, remember, life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.
PS: if, any of you who read this, had ever hurted by me in the past, i beg you to say that to me directly (or through instant messages) because now im trying to fix all the bad things that i did in the past and set my ego aside to save the relationship. because you are valuable to me. and i'm sorry.
XOXO,
nedita
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