im not reallyyy suureee what this is all about, but i feel like i owe someone an "apology they've never got" (cause you wont let me???).
it's been weeks, or
maybe months, since the first time you've shown up on my dreams, continuously.
some of them came with outrageous scenarios, and some were unexpectedly nice,
like they were just too good to be true i don't even think that they're going to
happen.
im not really sure how dream works, but one thing i know for sure is that some of my past dreams had told me something, like they became signs that kinda tells me what's going to happen next.
a few years ago, i had
the exact same experience; just when you were about to step into my life and
changed everything.
the scenario wasn't exactly the same as what actually happened, but it told a story of 'how' you were about to be a big part of my life, and to be fair... it kinda represents the reality.
little did you know that i've been holding myself back from saying hello, just simply trying to apologize and mend the burned bridge. i'm not even sure of what to be sorry for, but maybe i'd never know, too... cause you're the one who understand, from your point of view.
and the reason why i keep holding back is because i dont see any chance for me to... even say hello?
it feels like you've
removed me out of your life, completely, that i dont exist in your memories
anymore. i've tried a few times, years ago, and you keep blocking my attempt by
not responding to any of my messages.
and now im clueless, not
knowing what to do.
i seriously hope that
the dreams will stop, since those dreams keeps my mind busy and makes my heart
heavy... i want my peace back. but how?
its not that i want everything to be back to how it was. i've been doing pretty well without anyone by my side, nor i need you to be here with me since i know that both of us certainly don't want to.
my latest dream of you happened last night. you were physically ill, and (weirdly) rested in my house i dont even know why. we both realized that we weren't together anymore, and i was just there to keep you company. and then one moment i was about to went out (to the mosque??? or to pray???) and then you wanted to go too since i wasn't there to accompany you. and this was the weirdest part...
i told you to stay, dont
go anywhere until i could give you something.
(either to make you feel
better, or to give you some kind of 'comfort' to reduce your illness????? IDK
MAN) and then boom i woke up like whatttt theee ffff.......
and it actually got even weirder, cause you did exactly what i told you to......
what happened to you? and why you keep showing up in my dreams???
xoxo,
your forgotten past
