i am forever going to remember this day. the day where everything's finally put together (some of them, at least). i never thought that i'd found closure to some of the uncertainties that are getting worse lately. still, i have to keep in mind that it is not the end of the journey. in fact, this is just the beginning. this is the start of a whole harder journey ahead, for both of us. but the truth is, i had never feel more relieved than i am now.
earlier today, you finally chose to tell me what's been bothering you lately. you chose to be honest with me, with your feelings, and with what's left between us. it wasn't easy to hear the confession, but there's no one to blame here. from the very beginning, i had fully understand the consequences that i'd probably have to face if i choose to stay. and i will never blame you for your feelings, just like how you wont blame me for my feelings, too. its not something that we can control... and its unfair for me to expect you to be as ready as i am, and that's why i try my best to understand your situation.
one thing that made me SO relieved was, of course, the moment you told me that its not just me whose prayer has been answered, but it was yours too. both of us are the answers to both of our prayers. we are the one that we've been waiting for... i never thought that you would confess it to me, but tell you what, this is the thing that really boosts my faith in you.
i'm a believer. i'm a fighter. and i'm definitely an achiever. its not an obsession... its just how i handle things. and to be with someone like you... i don't think i'd give up easily. to be very honest, im still unsure whether you're worthy of all my time and effort. but i believe that every soul that God has sent to cross my path are the people that's meant to cross it. its not something that happens accidentally.
so for now, since none of us knows what the future holds, lets just be there for each other until we are ready. it might be you, and it might not. but why worry? as long as i want to stay, and as long as you could appreciate my presence... there's nothing to worry about.
if its meant to be, it will be.
(thankyou for being honest with me. thankyou for just being you, someone who's just enough for me--i couldn't ask for more. YOU are the gift from God, the one i've been waiting for. and if i have to wait, i'll wait. if i have to fight, i'll fight. i'll always mention your name in my prayers. i'll pray for you and your happiness. and if you're really the one that's meant to be with me for the rest of my life... i put my faith in God. i'll do my best, as much as what a human can do... then i let God do the rest).
xoxo
n e d
